Merry Christmas

Someone once said, "Never work with children or animals"....

We begin our photo shoot....

Remy would rather eat the hat than wear it.

Then the Tug of War started

And the wrestling match begins....

Trying again...if I can just get Remy to sit still...wait a minute...what's the good son doing? Chewing his hat while I'm distracted by Devil Dog!

If I eat the hat, the photo shoot ends!

Uh oh...coal in your stocking this year, Remy!

Then we moved outside....Rufus is staying still...Remy not so much.

Rufus still staying in position...Remy about to leap up at the camera

OK..Rufus posing with his hat....and Remy ('nough said)


Wishing you a joyous Christmas season filled with love and special memories. 

Rufus Comes Home

We're always late...always! It's impossible for us to be on time..but you can bet we were on time on February 7, 2008. That was Rufus Day...the day we finally brought our new puppy home. The day I hoped the house would stop feeling cold and empty.

We arrived at Vicki's promptly at 11. We were there at exactly 11 a.m. because we had actually arrived at 10:30 and parked down the road, waiting until the designated time. We were pathetic! I tried to appear calm and cool but I'm pretty sure Vicki saw through the act...I was Jello on the inside. We sat in her living room as she went through a binder full of information with us. Vaccination schedules, food options, puppy training classes. I didn't hear any of it! My brain kept screaming..."Uh huh...very nice...GO GET OUR PUPPY". Finally after what seemed like hours, Vicki said..."So I'll go get him"...."What did she say," I thought, "Go get him?" Finally!!! Steve and I stood together in silence...waiting. I heard Vicki's footsteps on the wooden stairs as she came back upstairs. The basement door opened...a light shone from the heavens and angels sang, Hallelujah! There he was..our Rufus....the light coloured puppy (remember in yesterday's post I said I didn't want the light puppy?)...did I care at that moment? No! He was the most beautiful sight in the world to me Vicki walked over and handed him to me. I gathered him in my arms and held him tight, drinking in that luscious puppy smell. I buried my face in his neck and I cried. He pulled away and looked right into my eyes...we connected at that very second, my Rufus and I. He knew I needed him. He knew he had a job to do. He saw a heart that had been broken and he knew he had to mend it. There right on the spot, I felt my heart healing..the pieces that had been shattered by the loss of Shamaya were fitting themselves back together. I looked at Steve and he had tears in his eyes....he knew what had just happened. He knew he had helped to put the joy back in my heart. I will be forever grateful to my husband for putting my needs over his own fear of loving and losing yet another friend. He knew he would have to go through that pain again some time in the distant future when we lay Rufus to rest but he was willing to do it all again so I could have a dog. That's love, folks!

On the drive home Rufus looked out the window and watched as his big new world zoomed past him.  Finally we arrived home..and a new chapter of our lives began. The chapter I like to call "The Golden Years"...get it? Within minutes of arriving home with Rufus we noticed something changed...the house warmed up. It was filled with sounds and smells of puppy again...it was filled with puppy love!

And they called it...Puppy Love

Rufus becomes Rufus

It was a long eight weeks to have to wait until we could bring Rufus home. We did get to visit the puppies twice...but oh my, twice was not enough!! I would have been much happier with daily visits..but the two visits we had were wonderful. We saw the puppies when they were three weeks old and again when they were five weeks old. They were so warm and soft and cuddly. We had no idea which puppy was going to be Rufus when we visited them, so we cuddled them all.  Our breeder gives potential puppy parents a questionnaire to fill out and she does temperament tests on the pups before they go to their new homes.  Based on answers and puppy personality, she then matches the puppy and the parents she feels would be best together. I'm glad Vicki handles placing puppies this way...I couldn't have chosen one over the others. I noticed two of the boys were darker than the other one and I made a mental note to myself that I hoped we didn't get the lighter one because I liked the darker colour. Gotcha' Day was set for February 7th and we were to arrive at 11 a.m. On the Thursday before we were to go pick Rufus up, we received a phone call from Vicki. She had some news...uh oh!  She had noticed the puppy she really felt would be the best match for us sometimes had trouble getting his back legs under him to stand up on all fours. He "swam" a lot as he struggled to get up. She had taken him to a specialist that day to find out why and had been told that one of the bones in his rear right leg was a fraction shorter than the same bone in the left leg. The vet believed it would correct itself as he grew up but if it didn't there was a surgery that could be done when he was older. Then came the million dollar question...did we want to take a chance it would correct itself, or take one of the other puppies? Since we were the first to reserve a male, we got first "right of refusal". I hung up the phone and went to tell Steve what Vicki had said...and I prayed. I knew vet bills could be astronomical..did we really want to start off with a puppy that was less than perfect from the beginning? We decided in 30 seconds...we trusted Vicki's judgment...if she thought he was the right puppy for us, we would take our chances. Deep down we knew he'd be fine..we just knew.  I called Vicki back, told her we'd go with "Gimpy" and she promised to send a picture within a few minutes. Now it's time for you all to go.....awwwww! I checked my email a few minutes and this is what I found....

Can you guess which one is Rufus?

Happy Birthday My Sweet Rufus

On November 9, 2008 our Malamute girl Shamaya passed away suddenly at the age of ten years. She had a tumor on her spleen that ruptured...we had no clue whatsoever what had been brewing in her body. I was awakened at 5:30 a.m. on that Sunday morning to her yelping, struggling to stand up and by 9 a.m. we were standing in the vet's office being told she was dying and there was nothing that could be done. I remember staring at our vet in disbelief...he had to be wrong...it couldn't be....she was fine yesterday...how can this be? I wanted to run out of the vet's office...take Shamaya and run home...I wanted to scream..I wanted to smack the messenger! I wanted to be angry...instead I bent over my girl lying on the table and I looked into her eyes. She was ready to go...her life was slowly slipping away. As the two people who loved her most we helped her across the Rainbow Bridge. I remember driving home with Steve..both of us crying. He told me he didn't ever want another dog. "We've been through this so many times...I can't lose anymore friends," he said through tears. My heart broke into a million pieces...not have a dog??? I've always had a dog. My parents raised German Shepherds...we had dogs ever since I was 5 years old. When Steve and I got married, we talked about having a dog as soon as we could afford one. My parents gave us our first wonderful dog, Bear when Little Darling Number Two was three months old and we had at least one dog from that day on. Not have a dog???? Dogs are like air to me...I had to have a dog...but I couldn't force things. I knew I had to give him time to heal from the devastation of losing Shamaya. I prayed it wouldn't take him long to heal and change his mind. We went home that day, dogless and we lived dogless for a week. The house felt cold and empty. There was no dog hair to vacuum, no muddy footprints to wash off the floor...no sweet white face waiting at the window when we came home...no warm neck to snuggle when the snow started falling. A week after we lost Shamaya, I started dropping hints that maybe we could think about getting a puppy...just think. Not to replace Shamaya, we could never do that, but to help fill the hole that was left in our hearts. Steve was reluctant but he said, "Maybe we could look"...those were the words I had been praying for...."look"... I knew what that meant!!  Our sons claimed Golden Retrievers were the quintessential "old person dog" so we figured since we were now entering that "old person decade", it was time to consider this breed. I started researching Golden breeders and came across one site that caught my attention. The breeder seemed educated, knowledgeable and caring....and then I saw the picture of Neo (aka Big Daddy). Neo was by far the handsomest boy I had ever laid eyes on...and he had sired a litter that was due to be born in a few weeks. I showed Steve the pictures on Vicki's site and he said, "Well we could go see her and meet the dogs"....that was all I needed. I made an appointment and the following weekend we sat in Vicki's living room surrounded by Goldens...with Neo leading the pack in welcoming us. I was in love. That day was intended to be a "gathering information day"...we left having given Vicki a deposit for a male puppy out the of the expected litter. Now we just had to wait and see if in fact mom, Eva had a male puppy. We decided on a name before we even knew our puppy had been born. His registered name would be Animation's I Have a Dream.....and his call name would be Rufus. Three weeks later while Christmas shopping on December 13th we received an email on Steve's Blackberry. The subject line read..."Puppies have arrived". Steve handed me the Blackberry so I could read the message...."Three boys....", that's all I remember seeing...THREE BOYS.  Our Rufus had arrived.

**To be continued

Have you checked your toilet today?

Someone in this house is in cahoots with a plumber. When the kids were little and Fisher Price people ended up jammed in the toilet we knew who to blame. The day Steve had to lift the toilet off the floor to remove half a pound of cheese and a bunch of drywall screws from the plumbing system, we knew the culprit was about 2 1/2 feet tall, had dark brown hair, brown eyes and spoke with a New York accent ("I like to fwush caws in da terlit")..Little Darling Number One had a thing for toilets. Fast forward to modern day....within the past couple weeks I have found a slipper, a Nylabone and the Baby Jesus in the toilet. Since the human boys who still live at home are at work during the day and Steve travels every week, I had narrowed the culprit list down to two. Yesterday the perp (I watch too many crime shows) was revealed when I caught Remy red pawed dropping a large pine cone into the toilet. Thankfully I saw it before the toilet was flushed, thus averting the need for a plumber with Steve being away this week. The new rule in our house is the toilet lid must be down at all times....that should work...until Remy figures out how to lift it up.

What's YOUR favourite popsicle flavour?

I stood at the kitchen sink, sipping my coffee and watching the boys play in the snow in the backyard this morning. I smiled as I watched them leap around...tails wagging furiously. I noticed Rufus biting at Remy's face and realized Remy had a ball in his mouth that was actually the object of Rufus' desire. Remy took off at breakneck speed across the yard with Rufus in hot pursuit. Rufus caught up, rolled Remy in the snow and grabbed the ball...wait a minute.."When did we acquire a brown ball?" I thought. Uh oh...what did he have...was it a rock, a piece of charcoal out of the BBQ? These questions resulted in the need for closer inspection on my part. I donned the big sized 13 boots that Steve had left parked at the back door and shuffled out into the deep snow. As I approached, Rufus stuck his butt in the air, still holding the prize in his mouth, then ran towards me...just short of my feet he shot to one side and took off with Remy following him. They flew around the yard and ignored my "DROP IT" and "COME" commands! Rufus eventually stumbled and dropped the ball...Remy scooped it up and started tossing it in the air and catching it as he trotted around the yard. As he passed by me, he tossed it again and I realized it wasn't a ball...nor was it a rock or a piece of charcoal...it was a poopsicle! Frozen pieces of dog poop are magical treats for our boys. I usually go on Poop Patrol as soon as one of them goes but in the winter when the wind is howling and the snow is blowing, I have been known to leave it for a few hours and go out and pick up several at a time. Rufus discovered the frozen poop delicacy last winter and has taught his little brother well. Remy was so happy carrying that frozen turd around in his mouth...I didn't have the heart to make him give it up. So I let him keep it and came back in the house...reminding myself to brush their teeth when they came in! Note to anyone visiting out house this winter....it might be a good idea not to let the boys kiss you ;)

Who Needs Sex Toys?

This morning started off like every other morning...I got up before the birds to let the boys out and get their breakfast ready. While they ate, I put the coffee on and fired up my trusty laptop so I could check my emails. Suddenly from upstairs came a blood curdling scream. I bolted upstairs not sure what I'd find once I got there! As I rounded the corner into our bedroom I saw Steve sitting up in bed holding a dustpan. A dustpan you ask? Yes a dustpan! Apparently he had rolled over onto the sharp edge and impaled himself. Why would normal, sane people sleep with a dustpan in their bed? WE don't...Remy does...he likes to hide his toys in our bed. We often find his favourite stuffed monkey in there, or his bones...the odd antler has turned up between the sheets..but today was the first time he put the dustpan in there. Along with the dustpan were two half chewed, smelly old bones and a spoon. Now I ask you people...who needs sex toys???

The Dyanmic Duo vs. Turkeys

Is flock the right word...is it a flock of turkeys? A gaggle of turkeys...no that's geese? Wait...GOOGLE!! OK just googled it...it's a flock. I needed to know that so I could tell you about our latest hike..and the flock of turkeys who are probably still gobbling about the Dynamic Duo.

We are blessed to be surrounded by perfect surroundings for happy Golden boys to run in wide open spaces and hike along trails that wind through interesting bush where there are lots of smells and things to investigate. The boys and I hit the trails every day..rain or shine. Sometimes I change things up so they don't get bored but we always end up with running in the field. Yesterday our hike took an interesting turn when we rounded a bend in the field and before us stood a huge flock of wild turkeys! There must have been 25 of the "so ugly they're cute "critters. I stopped and stood there not knowing what to expect from the two hunting dogs at my side. Rufus froze...and stared at the birds ...Remy, sensing something exciting was about to happen moved to stand beside Big Brother. They stood frozen...absolutely still...not a whisker moved..I'm pretty sure they even held their collective breaths. The birds didn't seem to notice us..they kept lurching around, pecking at the ground..all of a sudden one stopped and looked up. It locked eyes with Rufus...GOBBLE!!! I think that was his way of warning the rest of the flock...and I'm sorry I can't really describe the noise it made..suffice it to say, the flock knew what Tom was saying and they scattered. Well that was the signal...Rufus ran towards them gathering speed as he moved forward..with Remy right behind him. Some of the turkeys went to the left..the boys followed for a few steps..some went to the right, the boys ran a few steps after them...and one went straight. Well that one had to be the one who was going to be dinner!! The boys chased it into the bush...tails wagging furiously. I heard branches cracking and the frantic rustling of leaves..... I didn't know what to expect when they emerged a couple of minutes later but certainly wasn't expecting what I saw...Rufus came trotting out of the bush with a stick in his mouth and Remy held a Tim Horton's cup! Yes folks, that's right...I am the proud mom of two hunting dogs who strike fear in the hearts of sticks and garbage wherever they go! ;)

Have a wonderful weekend...enjoy some family time, make some memories and if you haven't already done so...hug your dog!

Afternoon Delight? Not in this house.

Hubby was able to catch an early flight home from Chicago the other day and surprised me by coming home mid-afternoon. So what do you suppose we two "young" lovers did with the time alone in the empty house? Time to grab a little Afternoon Delight! The boys were sound asleep on the couch so we sneaked up to the bedroom, turned on the iPod, closed the curtains and got busy. There we were in the throes of passion..hubby panting..me moaning and.... COWBUNGA!! My eyes flew open, expecting to gaze into the eyes of my beloved, instead I was looking into the eyes of Rufus who had decided to join the party. He stood over me..smiling. "Well that's great..I guess we're not going to be doing anything today," Steve muttered. "No no..it's OK...keep going," I panted. "OK but......ahhhhhhh"..Remy had decided he wanted in on the fun too and had latched into hubby's big toe. "Remy...NO...let go...drop it," Steve yelled flailing about on the bed. "Stop yelling at him...he's just playing....I'll find something to distract them," I got up and found a couple of bones to occupy the boys so we could get back to business. Once they were settled down chewing on their bones, we turned our attentions to "other things". There we were..Barry White playing on the iPod, the scent of candles filling the air...and Rufus digging at the blankets...wait how did he get back in the picture? Sensing we were about get romantic he had jumped back onto the bed. "Just ignore him...he'll go away," I whispered. We tuned back into each other and....Remy tunneled under the blankets, popped up by my head and yanked the clip out of my hair..taking a small clump of hair with him. "Owwww," I screeched, turning my head away from the source of pain. WHAM..my head bounced off Steve's chin causing him to clamp his teeth together and bite his tongue! "OK that's it," he said..."these boys need to leave. You take Rufus, I'll take Remy..they're going out into the hall." As I reached for Rufus he wriggled away from me..."Grab him," I yelled. Steve, who by the way was naked, dove for Rufus who slipped out of his grasp and jumped back onto the bed sending pillows and blankets flying. "OK then grab Remy," I said. Easier said than done. Remy dove under the bed and slithered along until he was out of reach. While under there he discovered Little Darling #3's cat, who despises him. War was declared and the chase was on. Kitty flew out from under the bed...Remy slithered out, in hot pursuit. Kitty ran towards the door but seeing that it was closed, she darted towards the dresser and jumped up onto it....Remy followed sending pictures and knick knacks flying. Not wanting to be left out of the fun, Rufus lunged after Kitty shoving his nose into her face. Kitty screeched and scratched him, forcing him to retreat. Calm settled over the bedroom for a brief moment. I stood half dressed and looked around the room at the havoc that had been wreaked. The bed looked like someone had enjoyed themselves, unfortunately it wasn't us. Steve lay bleeding from his self inflicted mouth wound, Remy stood perched on the dresser barking at the puppy in the mirror and Rufus lay on the bed licking his scratched nose while Barry sang..."Let's Get it On" from the iPod. Maybe next time, Barry...but first we'll send the boys to Grandma's.

No..I Have NOT Started Yet!

I heard my first Christmas carol of the year while shopping in Walmart on October 30th. Ads have started popping up on TV, the Shopping Channel is flogging toys and electronics as the "perfect holiday gifts" and Santa arrives at the mall in two weeks...it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Would you believe I've actually had a couple of people ask me if I've started my shopping yet? It drives me crazy!! To say I love Christmas is an understatement.... I adore Christmas. I love the baking, the planning, the shopping... I love the time spent with my family. I love going to the Santa Claus parade (the one in the big city because that's the only one the real Santa attends)..love, love, love attending the Christmas service at the church where we got married thirty years ago. I love the snow, love the smells...love everything about Christmas. But please..I beg of you..don't ask me if I've started shopping any time before December 23rd. I am a last minute shopper. Oh I've tried many, many times to start early..it doesn't work. I buy things, then second guess myself, return them and start over again. I need the pressure of being under the gun..I need to know that if I don't get it done...NOW!...it's going to be too late! I need the hustle and bustle of the crowded mall to jump start me into gear and get me going. It's like the call of the wild to a wolf..it's inbred...no wait, not inbred...inborn. I am a procrastinator. I don't know why...my mother is the furthest thing from a procrastinator. I'm pretty sure I drive her nuts! She starts planning in May, shopping in June and is usually finished everything by July 1st. She calls me annually around August 15th and asks what we're having for Christmas dinner...just so she can figure out what to bring. "What??? You don't have the Christmas menu planned yet???" she asks, obviously shocked even though my answer is always the same..."No Mother I haven't figured Christmas dinner out yet..I'll get on it in a couple of months." Nope...the procrastination didn't come through those bloodlines! While the rest of you are sitting by your trees on Christmas Eve, sipping hot chocolate and listening to Christmas carols, secure in the knowledge that your shopping is complete and everything is wrapped and ready..I will be rushing out to the variety store to buy disposable razors and gum for the boys' stockings (the human boys). It's tradition...just like your turkey and the strings of popcorn and cranberries on your tree..I wouldn't dare change it!

To Catch a Thief

The boys after our run

I have raised a thief. Actually if I think back..I've raised two thieves. Years ago when Little Darling #2 was about 2 1/2 years old, he and I were out shopping one day. As we went through the checkout line he spied a package of bubble gum and begged me to buy it for him. Slightly harried I denied his request and turned my attention back to paying for groceries. A little while later we were in the bathroom at McDonald's and as I helped him pull his pants back up I felt something crinkle in his pocket. "What's this?", I asked him...."Nothin'," he answered turning away from me so I couldn't put my hand in his pocket to see what was in there. OK now that's a sign that something was up! I persisted and discovered the package of gum he had coveted in the store.  After explaining why it was wrong to take the gum..I insisted we go back to the store and he tell the lady what he had done My little blonde headed boy's lip quivered as he stood before the dour looking lady and said..."I took 'dis..sowwy." He looked very apologetic indeed and I knew he had learned his lesson. Now the second thief I have raised isn't so apologetic. Rufus steals gloves. He steals gloves from little old ladies in wheelchairs. He steals gardening gloves from the elderly man down the road every time we stop to say hello. Knowing his penchant for gloves..we are always on guard when we wear gloves. Wait did I say "always"?? Yesterday I took the boys for run in the big field near our house. I was walking through the field keeping an eye out  for skunks and not paying attention...WOOOOSH....Rufus ran past me at the speed of light. He slyly grabbed the glove off my hand and took off at warp speed across the field with Remy in hot pursuit. "Rufus.....Rooooofus...RUFUS COME," I yelled. I saw him look over his shoulder at me....SMILE....and keep running! I noticed they were headed for the swamp....."Oh Rufus NO...not the swamp," I yelled. SPLASH...a wall of water sprayed up drenching Remy. Rufus continued to dash through the swamp...this way and that with my red glove hanging out of his mouth. Now for those of you who have Goldens...maybe you know what's coming next...but for the uninitiated, I'll explain. Water equals excitement for my Goldens and excitement equals...ZOOMIES! They run...they run fast. They zoom, zig and zag, leaving uprooted grass, trees and the occasional person in their wake. They completely lose control of themselves and go berserk. So there I stood in the middle of the field with the wet,smelly swamp things racing past me spraying me with swamp water. When it was finally over...Rufus promptly dropped onto a dead animal carcass and rolled around on his back...with my now soaking wet red glove still in his mouth. I approached him and told him to give me the glove...."Rufus...drop the glove....Rufus...get up and give me the glove...Buddy...give me the g....." off he went again. Apparently the zoomies weren't over..he was just taking a break to roll in the irresistible dead thing. He ran around the field for several more minutes while Remy and I stood aside and watched the show. When it was over...Rufus calmly walked up to me, dropped the glove at my feet and sat in front of me so I could clip his leash to his collar. The three of us started to walk home....soaked through to the skin, wreaking of swamp water. As we rounded the corner and headed towards home, Remy jumped up and stole my glove. And so begins the career of another glove thief.

The Dynamic Duo vs. Trick or Treaters

Halloween is over but for two children who came to our door last night, the memory will live on in their minds for years to come. We rarely get trick or treaters at our door because we live in an area where the driveways are fairly far apart. Kids don't want to trek up and down the road for 30 minutes and cover 20 houses when they can go into town and hit 100 houses in the same amount of time. This year however, two little boys and their mom decided to cover our road. At about 6:15 the door bell rang. Now the doorbell ringing may not be cause for celebration in your house...but in our house party hats are donned and noise makers are brought out...the doorbell means people are here to play with Rufus and Remy. I opened the door to see two boys around 5 and 7 years of age standing on the other side. Mom lurked on the other side of the gate we have at the top of the porch steps. The eldest of the two boys had a mask on his face and his little brother wore a long cape and make up. Big Brother opened his mouth..."Trick or Tr......" he didn't get to finish his sentence. Remy jumped on the screen door, knocking the screen out onto the porch floor. Rufus saw the massive opening as his opportunity to escape and investigate our visitors up close and personal. He darted through the hole left by the screen and ran over to Big Brother who backed up against the brick wall...screaming. "It's OK..he won't hurt you," I said as I reached for Rufus' collar. Rufus jerked away from me intent on grabbing the mask off the kid. Meanwhile, behind me I heard another scream. I glanced over my shoulder to see Little Brother being tackled by Remy who had discovered the long cape. As Little Brother tried desperately to stay on his feet, Remy grabbed the bottom of the cape and ran to the other end of the porch, dragging Little Bro screaming behind him. By this time, Mom had catapulted over the gate to rescue her youngins. As she pulled the cape out of Remy's mouth, I heard a ripping sound...the kid started crying. Turning my attention back to Rufus and Big Brother, I saw Rufus heading back through the door opening with the mask in his mouth. Now, Big Brother is standing in stunned silence...Little Brother is quietly crying and Mom is glaring at me. I smile lamely at them all and wish them a Happy Halloween. I somehow doubt they'll be back next year.

Round Two....Time to Get Some Ear Muffs

I haven’t been here for a couple of days…I’ve been shopping. I’ve been shopping for new bed linens to go on the new kind sized bed. I was looking for a duvet cover and sheets that are gold with muddy splotches all over them…I think you can figure out why. I couldn’t find anything so I’m thinking my next business venture may be designing bedding for people with dogs.  I’ve been shopping all by myself this week but in a couple of weeks I am heading south to shop across the border with my mother. We did a two day shopping trip around this time last year  and I swore I’d never do it again…but here I am signing up for Round Two.  An experienced Black Friday shopper, my mother decided to show me the ropes. We arrived at our hotel room, ate dinner and got ready for bed early because we planned to get up at 3:00 a.m. so we could get in line for the door crasher sales.  I was ready for bed before Mother…she took a while in the bathroom.  When she emerged a while later, she had what looked like a large band-aid on her nose. Turns out it was a strip to stop her from snoring…”I didn’t think you’d want to be kept awake all night by my snoring…these stop it completely”, she said.  I’d heard about her snoring from her husband so I was happy to see that little sucker. At 11:00 p.m. we were both tucked into the king sized bed and drifting off to La La Land…when suddenly I was awakened by what can only be compared to a jet engine at take- off. I jumped up and looked around the room. There lay my mother…..snoring so loudly she’d put all the men in my house to shame.  I lay back down…”surely it’ll stop soon,” I thought…WRONG! The jet took off, reached cruising altitude and stayed there for a while…probably about 45 minutes. It then crash landed…silence! I started to drift off to sleep….”Air Canada Flight 2126, ready for take- off…” and the engines revved again. I nudged her….”Mum….you’re snoring,” I whispered. “W-w-w-what…Oh stop I am not,” she huffed, grabbing the blanket and flopping over on her side. “Thank goodness,” I thought…”she won’t snore sleeping on her side”.  The room was silent for about half an hour. I lay there in the dark expecting the snoring to start any minute….it didn’t so I figured it was safe to go to sleep. I was just starting to dream about the deals I planned to look for the following day. I was standing in the middle of a huge store surrounded by shoes, boots and purses. Before me I saw a gorgeous pair of red leather boots.  I reached out to touch the soft leather….and a buzz saw started up right beside my ear. I woke up half expecting to see Paul Bunyan in the hotel room, stacking freshly cut fire wood.  I looked over at Mother and there she was lying on her back..the strip had worked its way off her nose and was now plastered across her chin. Her mouth was wide open and she was once again..snoring.  I looked at the clock on the table. It was 2:56 a.m.  The alarm would be going off in four minutes. I got up and turned on the light. Mother woke up….”Oh is it time to get up”, she asked…”isn’t this bed wonderful..I slept like a baby”.  

This year I’ve offered to drive. I figure I’ll take a sleeping bag and retire to the SUV when I hear the engines revving.

Our Halloween Bandana Photo Shoot

Run Kid...Mom's got bandanas!

I'm telling you...get outta' here now, Kid. She's got one for you too!

Like wrestling a greased piglet, but I got it on him!

How often do we have to wear these things, Rufus? Every time a holiday rolls around, Kid!

Whoa...the wind is picking up, maybe they'll blow off!

Hold still, Rufus...maybe I can get it off!

Ok fine..we'll sit still for pictures, if you bring treats out!

Treats make everything bearable!

Mmmmm salmon treats....wait a minute, Rufus where is your bandana??

Zonked!

Man....it's Hot in Here!

The photo shoot will have to wait until tomorrow…today I have a lot on my mind and I need to clear some space..so here goes...
Can someone….anyone, explain to me why oh why we middle aged women must endure hot flashes? Is it not enough that we have to grow facial hair and our boobs and butts start to race each other to see who is going to hit the floor first? Apparently not! Last night our bedroom was hot…and not because I had donned my sexy little pink teddy. No, it was because my own personal summer had kicked into high gear and the heat emanating from my body was enough to melt the polar ice cap with no assistance from global warming whatsoever. We started off with the bedroom window open about three inches. I put on a nightgown and climbed in under the covers at 11 p.m. At 11:15 the first heat wave began…off came the duvet. By midnight I had peeled off the blanket…and lay under just a thin sheet. At 1:30, I woke up feeling damp…sweatin’ with the oldies had begun. I glanced over at Steve who lay shivering in his sleep as he clutched a little corner of the sheet …Rufus and Remy were hogging the rest of it. I didn’t care….the sheet was too hot anyway! By 3:00, I had opened the window as wide as it would go and turned on two fans. I lay there exposed to the elements hoping the cool night air being swirled around the room and across my body would cool me down. At 4:15 I woke up freezing. I wrestled the dogs for the sheet, blankets and duvet and huddled under them to try to warm up. By 4:30 I was naked again. And so go my nights…and my days. The rest of my family complains because the house is freezing and the front door is open, “Put on a sweater,” I bark, “Twelve degrees is plenty warm.” What is wrong with these people? Recently, Little Darling #2 came up from his hovel aka his basement bedroom with icicles hanging off his nose and ears…”C-c-c-can we turn on the furnace,” he begged. “Why is it cold in here,” I asked, “Cold?..oh no it’s quite normal for the water in the toilets to freeze"....honestly…kids today are soft!

This is Why I Failed Home Ec...

I can’t sew.  I glue very well, however I do not sew. My grandmother sewed. My mother sews…I do not. Have I made my point perfectly clear?  Several years ago, while at an auction with my mother, I allowed myself to be convinced to buy a sewing machine. Why? Because my mother told me I’d LOVE having a sewing machine.  I have used said sewing machine twice since it was purchased. Both times were disastrous! Both times I ended up with in tears and vowing to never even look at the machine again. Oh it starts off fine…I put the machine on the table, take off the cover, plug it in. It goes downhill from there.  When I’m guiding the thread through the various twists and turns on the machine, the thread always…I repeat…always gets tangled up. It winds itself around my fingers like a snake and refuses to let go.  After cursing it and every one of its ancestor spools of thread, I finally get the thread in the proper places and I’m ready to sew. This is where we’ll pick up the story of my sewing adventure on Saturday.  I had decided to sew Halloween bandanas for the boys. How cute would pictures be, of the two of them posing in matching bandanas? That was my first mistake…thinking Remy would pose in a bandana.  But I digress…let’s go back to the sewing process.  I had set up the machine, plugged it in, threaded it, pinned the two pieces of fabric together and placed it under the foot of the machine. The threaded needle sat poised in mid-air, waiting to be plunged into the material. I stepped on the pedal…nothing. Stepped on the pedal again..harder this time..nothing.  Checked the plug…Remy had it in his mouth.  Took the plug away from Remy, plugged it into the wall…gave him a toy to play with.  OK..he’s busy, Rufus is sleeping…here we go.   I take my place in front of the machine… step on the pedal…nothing….step harder on the pedal…..nothing. Check plug..it’s in the wall..what the heck???? Oops..turn on machine! OK, now we’re cooking. I step on the pedal…..the machine springs to life, whirring…the needle goes up and down…the machine keeps whirring…then it starts  chugging….then CLUNK. That can’t be a good noise. The needle stops going up and down and just sits stubbornly in the material refusing to budge.  A big hunk of material has been sucked down into the dark hole under the machine. I open the little compartment under the machine and peer inside. There is a matrix of thread wrapped around and around all the inner workings of the machine. I start to cut it away, piece by piece. It’s slow and tedious work but eventually I get it all out. I retrieve that silly little bobbin (who came up with such a cute name for such a demonic little item?) from the place it has come to rest way at the back of the machine and stick it back in the hole in which it belongs.  The thread on the top of the machine has snapped off so I have to re-thread that too. Ok it’s all done and we’re ready to go again…I place the fabric back under the foot, lower said foot and…..Rufus is at the door, with a piece of fabric hanging out of his mouth and Remy is leaping up at him trying to get it away from him. I take the fabric away and let them both out. I take my seat in front of the sewing machine once again…I lean forward ready to guide the material…..I step on the pedal and the machine springs to life…and promptly eats the material again. At this point I look out the window to see the boys gleefully humping each other in the back yard, while the neighbour’s three year old son watches.  They’re busy…back to the sewing machine I go, determined to get these bandanas sewn so I can prove to myself and my grade 7 Home Ec teacher who told me she was going to place a warning label on every sewing machine ever made so I was not allowed to step near another one again as long as I live , that I can do this. I cut away the matrix of thread again, re-thread the machine, cut off the ragged material that had been sucked into the machine and get ready to start again. The machine springs to life as I step on the pedal…here we go..the fabric slides along as the needle goes up and down…..I’m sewing..I’m actually sewing.  My mother would be proud…Nana is watching over me from Heaven and she is proud. I am jubilant. My celebration is short lived. I hear a cackle..the machine is taunting me…it quickly gobbles up the material yet again. This time it sucks such a big piece of material into the hole that the entire machine grinds to a halt, shudders and shuts itself off.  I think this is the machine’s way of telling me it’s over. I step away from the machine and get out the glue.

Part Two tomorrow…The Photo Shoot

Testosterone anyone?

Wow...I can't believe how many people have stopped by to read my blogs. Thank you so much to all of you who have recommended it to others. To date 298 views in total and no, it's not just me refreshing the page to get the count up ;)

Today's topic....testosterone. Not mine...although judging by the fact that I have recently had to start waxing my upper lip so I don't look like Tom Selleck, I guess I have some flowing through my body. No, this is about the testosterone streaming down the walls at our house these days. As you will recall Little Darling #1 (LD#1) has returned to live at home temporarily. It took all of five minutes of him being back in the fold, for the three boys to revert to their childhood days. In the blink of an eye the bathroom humour was flying...the gross noises were being made and the giggling commenced. Seriously...when do men cease to be amused by farts??? Never, I say! One of them makes a noise that could be compared to volcano erupting and the three of them dissolve into fits of laughter...and Dad joins in, laughing until he's crying, tears streaming down his face. He often laughs so hard he sets off his asthma and he has to go puff his inhaler...over a fart??? Seriously...what's funny???? To top it off, the cats who came along for the ride with LD#1, are both males and of course so are Rufus and Remy....I swear they all join in the giggling at butt sounds and the watching of hockey. And who pray tell, keeps leaving the toilet seat up??? Why oh why must I stumble into the bathroom at 1:00, 2:15, 3:30 and 4:45 a.m. to pee, only to find my butt sitting in 6 inches of ice cold water because someone left the seat up? While we're on the topic of the bathroom, let's talk about the hair. The hair that's all over the tub, the sink, the floor...I'm pretty sure Sasquatch lives and he's in my bathroom, folks! And the smells...oh the smells. The manly scented shampoo, the manly deodorant, the manly aftershave (four different scents) all mingling in one small bathroom when they're all done in there...it's enough to choke an elephant. Now, please don't get me wrong..I'm enjoying having the boys together under one roof again. It's been wonderful to see how close the bonds of brotherhood have remained. But oh what I'd give for some girly time right about now. Anyone out there want to come over and we can give each other pedicures and wax our lips???

Make some memories this weekend folks....enjoy your time with your loves ones and if you haven't already done so...hug your dog!

Meet my puppy....Little Sir Humps-a-Lot

We've come to that stage in most male (and some female) puppy owner's lives...the dreaded hump-everything-in-sight stage. Remington has started to hump....everything. Remington humps Rufus. Remington humps his toys...yesterday he humped the table leg.  He isn't picky about where he does it...and he isn't worried about who sees him do it. He's done it on the front lawn...he's done it while we walk down the road...he's done it in Home Depot. He has no shame. Rufus isn't sure what to think of this new development but he's decided if you can't beat 'em, join 'em....so now they take turns doing it. While most families are watching the hockey game or Dancing With The Stars, we are watching the boys do the bump and grind in the living room. We've tried telling them to stop. We've tried telling them to "sit", "down", "spin"...anything to get their minds off what they're doing. We've tried taking them outside and distracting them with toys. It works for a few minutes...and back at it they go. Yesterday we decided to just ignore it and try to carry on as if it's not happening. I discovered this was not an easy task when I found myself walking through the house dragging one leg....and Remy behind me. This morning things did seem to be sort of under control. We noticed there was no humping of each other... or inanimate objects. We thought our plan was working...until this afternoon when Remy jumped on the unsuspecting Purolator man and refused to let go. Oh well...just one more thing for the neigbours to talk about next time the cable goes out.

The Prodigal Son

I was one of those moms who cried when September rolled around and the kids went back to school.  While the rest of the neighbourhood moms were gleefully waving good bye to their little darlings as they climbed up the big steps onto the school bus…I was standing towards the back of the crowd with big sunglasses on so no one would notice my swollen eyes. When Little Darling #1 went off to college, I mourned for months.  The day we moved him into his dorm room, I went through an entire box of Kleenex.  Everyone told me the first was the most difficult, the second would be easier. When we moved Little Darling #2 into his dorm room at university, I went through a box of Kleenex and a roll of toilet paper.  OK so the first and second were hard but surely the third one would be a piece of cake. The day we moved Little Darling #3 into his dorm room at university, I went through a box of Kleenex, a roll of toilet paper and a bath towel. My husband started building a boat….he was sure we were going to have to row home.  I went home and sat on the edge of his bed and looked around his room. I found a sock sticking out from under his bed, picked it up and clung to it…sobbing.  The baby was gone.  Our nest was empty, the baby birds had flown the coop.  Steve tried to console me with talk of this being a new season in our lives. “We’ll be able to travel…to have our special time together,” he said. He painted such a rosy picture, that I started to get excited about the prospect of the empty nest.  My mind started to race with ideas. We would turn one of the bedrooms into a craft room.  I had been a basement dweller for years… scrapbooking by a single light bulb dangling from the rafters of the basement ceiling.  Oh the thought of scrapping above ground set my heart a flutter!  Another thought struck me…with no offspring around to make comments about my breasts racing my butt to Florida, all my inhibitions would disappear and I could embrace nudity.  I found myself doing the Dance of Joy!  My celebration was short lived…..our plans were put on hold…..they all moved back home when they finished school and found they couldn’t afford to live in the real world.  Little Darling #1 left the nest when he got married three years ago.  The other two are still here.  We drop hints….some are subtle…some are not.  We’ve sort of resigned ourselves to the fact that Little Darling #2 and #3 will be here for the long haul…but we figured #1 was gone permanently. We were wrong. Now before you go jumping to conclusions, there is no trouble in Paradise. Happily married Little Darling #1 and Darlingette have purchased a new house but they can’t move in for two weeks. Darlingette is living in their new city already because she has a job there.  She’s renting a single room….there is no room at the Inn for #1.  So home he came…along with four giant bins of clothes, a few bottles of beer and mustard…and two cats.  Rufus is ignoring the cats…Remy is not.  He has been stalking them since they arrived 24 hours ago.  This morning just as Squishy (#1 and Darlingette have some unique names for their pets) was dozing off to sleep in a sunbeam, Remy decided to practice his surprise attack move. He climbed up onto the bottom step of our main staircase and leaped…landing with a thud, just short of where Squishy was sleeping. Squishy sproinged up and ran for cover….hissing and spitting. This prompted Rufus to join the party. He ran over to Remy and grabbed his ear. Remy in turn bit down on Rufus’ tail and hung on for dear life as Rufus started bucking around trying to shake him lose. Soon the two boys were zooming around the house, knocking knick knacks and chairs flying while the two cats cowered under the table, quivering with fear.  It’s going to be a long two weeks.

It's OK.....it's an XL crate!

Remington is a terrible sleeper. In his opinion, he has way too much to do to waste time doing something as silly and mundane as sleeping...especially at night. Big brother, Rufus wasn't a great sleeper either so I'm kind of thinking it may be me who is creating these little sleepless monsters..uh darlings. Remington goes to bed with no fuss at about 11 p.m.  We have a routine...it's the same routine Rufus has had for almost two years. They go out at about 11 and while they are doing whatever they need to do, I grab two previously loved bones that have been stripped clean by Jaws and Baby Jaws. I smear a little bit of all natural peanut butter (no additives for these boys...natural all the way) in them and stuff one of their wheat free, preservative free, fat free..probably taste free cookies in each one. Once the bones are ready, I let the boys in. Rufus bounds in and heads straight upstairs to the bedroom and waits on his blanket. Remy still isn't 100% sure of the routine so he jumps around in front of me..runs part way up the stairs, comes back down, jumps around again...runs back upstairs and waits at the top of the stairs. Then as I get close to the top of the stairs, he lunges at me, flips backwards bouncing off the bookcase and runs into the crate that sits at the bottom of our bed. There he sits...smiling with anticipation at the tasty morsel he is about to receive. Both boys lick the bones clean and eat the cookie inside and then settle down for the night. See...that part is easy. It's two hours later when Remy wakes up and starts pawing at the crate door and whining that things get difficult. I get up, take him out and he pees...then runs back in and goes back in the crate with no fuss. An hour later, we're back up and we repeat the exercise...then we do it again, two hours later, we're back at it. I've tried to tell him to shush and go back to sleep but he persists and I think, :what if he truly does have to go? Could I hold it"?? I think not..especially since that last baby elephant I gave birth to kicked the life out of my bladder! So I get up with him. Some nights it's once or twice, some nights it's four times! I have tried cutting his water off after 7 p.m....he started drinking out of puddles when we were outside. The sight of my poor little dog drinking out of puddles to stay hydrated was too much for me....I caved and gave him water. So this has been my life for two months now...this waking up every hour or two for nocturnal trips outside.  I could do this when I was younger. I could function with little or no sleep. Now.... I need sleep..I crave sleep...I MUST have sleep! This is why last night I surrendered...I gave in...the thirty pound bundle of fluff won! We did the usual routine but instead of closing the crate door, I left it open. I told Remy I trusted him to wake me up if he had to go out..I begged him not to pee on the relatively new carpet and I prayed he would sleep. The bones were finished by 11:05. At 11:06, Rufus assumed his usual position lying on my feet across the bottom of the bed. At 11:07 Remy jumped up at the side of the bed and squirmed and wriggled his way up onto the bed. At 11:08, both boys were sound asleep. They stayed that way..all night. At 5:15 a.m. I woke up to Rufus once again cutting off the circulation to my legs. Momentarily believing I was paralyzed because I couldn't feel my legs, I struggled to sit up and focus my eyes in the dark. When I was finally able focus, the first thing I saw was Remy, still passed out..snoring. Eureka! It worked..I have discovered the cure for my sleepless nights. Now there is just one little problem...Steve! When he comes home from his business trip tonight, I'll have to break the news that Remy is now sleeping in his spot in the bed. I'm sure he'll understand. He has two options...he can either fight for a spot in the bed, or give up and sleep in the crate. It's a nice big crate and the fluffy blanket is really soft and comfortable..he'll be fine!

**Update** After just one night of fighting for space in the bed, Steve decided we needed a king sized bed. A brand new top o' the line beauty arrives in two weeks. Steve thinks this will give him more room, my bet is the boys will just stretch out and take up more space ;)

Have a good weekend, friends and thank you for spreading the word about my blog. It's exciting to see more and more people stopping by, thanks to you! Be happy.

I think I'll go back out...just to come home again!

I was going to continue telling you about the arrival of Rufus today, but my mind veered off in another direction. It does that...often...very often. I've always been known as sort of a scatterbrained person, but lately my brain hasn't reassembled itself after being scattered. I can be mid-sentence...mid-thought...and oops, we're on to another topic. Difficult as it may be...try to keep up, people!

This morning I went into town to run errands. I left the boys alone for a couple of hours while I ran around shopping for groceries, picking up mail, dropping off dry cleaning...the usual stuff. I hit every long line up, every slow cashier, every long red light and it seemed the rain got worse each time I had to get out of the car. By the time I got home I was soaking wet, frustrated and angry...at whom, I don't know..but I was angry nonetheless! I unlocked the door, stepped into the house and waited. What was I waiting for? Shhhhh....I heard the thump as Rufus jumped off our bed and came running down the stairs tail wagging and a big grin on his face. He jumped up on me, knocking bags flying but did I care? NO!  His tail didn't stop..he wound himself through my legs and jumped up on me again (What happened to the "off" command...our trainer would be mortified!!), and then licked my face and whined as if to say.."Where have you been, I missed you". I opened the door of Remy's crate and he launched himself at me. He hit my thighs and landed with a thud on the floor as I was knocked backwards. He gathered himself up and leaped up at me again. Someone must have installed springs in my puppy's butt because he was jumping as high as my waist...all four feet off the floor. I held my arms out and he leaped into them..a wriggling bundle of golden fur. The frustration and stress of the morning melted away as I basked in the Rufus and Remy welcome home..there is nothing quite like it! I'm thinking of going out again...just to come home again!