Man....it's Hot in Here!

The photo shoot will have to wait until tomorrow…today I have a lot on my mind and I need to clear some space..so here goes...
Can someone….anyone, explain to me why oh why we middle aged women must endure hot flashes? Is it not enough that we have to grow facial hair and our boobs and butts start to race each other to see who is going to hit the floor first? Apparently not! Last night our bedroom was hot…and not because I had donned my sexy little pink teddy. No, it was because my own personal summer had kicked into high gear and the heat emanating from my body was enough to melt the polar ice cap with no assistance from global warming whatsoever. We started off with the bedroom window open about three inches. I put on a nightgown and climbed in under the covers at 11 p.m. At 11:15 the first heat wave began…off came the duvet. By midnight I had peeled off the blanket…and lay under just a thin sheet. At 1:30, I woke up feeling damp…sweatin’ with the oldies had begun. I glanced over at Steve who lay shivering in his sleep as he clutched a little corner of the sheet …Rufus and Remy were hogging the rest of it. I didn’t care….the sheet was too hot anyway! By 3:00, I had opened the window as wide as it would go and turned on two fans. I lay there exposed to the elements hoping the cool night air being swirled around the room and across my body would cool me down. At 4:15 I woke up freezing. I wrestled the dogs for the sheet, blankets and duvet and huddled under them to try to warm up. By 4:30 I was naked again. And so go my nights…and my days. The rest of my family complains because the house is freezing and the front door is open, “Put on a sweater,” I bark, “Twelve degrees is plenty warm.” What is wrong with these people? Recently, Little Darling #2 came up from his hovel aka his basement bedroom with icicles hanging off his nose and ears…”C-c-c-can we turn on the furnace,” he begged. “Why is it cold in here,” I asked, “Cold?..oh no it’s quite normal for the water in the toilets to freeze"....honestly…kids today are soft!