The Dyanmic Duo vs. Turkeys

Is flock the right word...is it a flock of turkeys? A gaggle of turkeys...no that's geese? Wait...GOOGLE!! OK just googled it...it's a flock. I needed to know that so I could tell you about our latest hike..and the flock of turkeys who are probably still gobbling about the Dynamic Duo.

We are blessed to be surrounded by perfect surroundings for happy Golden boys to run in wide open spaces and hike along trails that wind through interesting bush where there are lots of smells and things to investigate. The boys and I hit the trails every day..rain or shine. Sometimes I change things up so they don't get bored but we always end up with running in the field. Yesterday our hike took an interesting turn when we rounded a bend in the field and before us stood a huge flock of wild turkeys! There must have been 25 of the "so ugly they're cute "critters. I stopped and stood there not knowing what to expect from the two hunting dogs at my side. Rufus froze...and stared at the birds ...Remy, sensing something exciting was about to happen moved to stand beside Big Brother. They stood frozen...absolutely still...not a whisker moved..I'm pretty sure they even held their collective breaths. The birds didn't seem to notice us..they kept lurching around, pecking at the ground..all of a sudden one stopped and looked up. It locked eyes with Rufus...GOBBLE!!! I think that was his way of warning the rest of the flock...and I'm sorry I can't really describe the noise it made..suffice it to say, the flock knew what Tom was saying and they scattered. Well that was the signal...Rufus ran towards them gathering speed as he moved forward..with Remy right behind him. Some of the turkeys went to the left..the boys followed for a few steps..some went to the right, the boys ran a few steps after them...and one went straight. Well that one had to be the one who was going to be dinner!! The boys chased it into the bush...tails wagging furiously. I heard branches cracking and the frantic rustling of leaves..... I didn't know what to expect when they emerged a couple of minutes later but certainly wasn't expecting what I saw...Rufus came trotting out of the bush with a stick in his mouth and Remy held a Tim Horton's cup! Yes folks, that's right...I am the proud mom of two hunting dogs who strike fear in the hearts of sticks and garbage wherever they go! ;)

Have a wonderful weekend...enjoy some family time, make some memories and if you haven't already done so...hug your dog!

Afternoon Delight? Not in this house.

Hubby was able to catch an early flight home from Chicago the other day and surprised me by coming home mid-afternoon. So what do you suppose we two "young" lovers did with the time alone in the empty house? Time to grab a little Afternoon Delight! The boys were sound asleep on the couch so we sneaked up to the bedroom, turned on the iPod, closed the curtains and got busy. There we were in the throes of passion..hubby panting..me moaning and.... COWBUNGA!! My eyes flew open, expecting to gaze into the eyes of my beloved, instead I was looking into the eyes of Rufus who had decided to join the party. He stood over me..smiling. "Well that's great..I guess we're not going to be doing anything today," Steve muttered. "No no..it's OK...keep going," I panted. "OK but......ahhhhhhh"..Remy had decided he wanted in on the fun too and had latched into hubby's big toe. "Remy...NO...let go...drop it," Steve yelled flailing about on the bed. "Stop yelling at him...he's just playing....I'll find something to distract them," I got up and found a couple of bones to occupy the boys so we could get back to business. Once they were settled down chewing on their bones, we turned our attentions to "other things". There we were..Barry White playing on the iPod, the scent of candles filling the air...and Rufus digging at the blankets...wait how did he get back in the picture? Sensing we were about get romantic he had jumped back onto the bed. "Just ignore him...he'll go away," I whispered. We tuned back into each other and....Remy tunneled under the blankets, popped up by my head and yanked the clip out of my hair..taking a small clump of hair with him. "Owwww," I screeched, turning my head away from the source of pain. WHAM..my head bounced off Steve's chin causing him to clamp his teeth together and bite his tongue! "OK that's it," he said..."these boys need to leave. You take Rufus, I'll take Remy..they're going out into the hall." As I reached for Rufus he wriggled away from me..."Grab him," I yelled. Steve, who by the way was naked, dove for Rufus who slipped out of his grasp and jumped back onto the bed sending pillows and blankets flying. "OK then grab Remy," I said. Easier said than done. Remy dove under the bed and slithered along until he was out of reach. While under there he discovered Little Darling #3's cat, who despises him. War was declared and the chase was on. Kitty flew out from under the bed...Remy slithered out, in hot pursuit. Kitty ran towards the door but seeing that it was closed, she darted towards the dresser and jumped up onto it....Remy followed sending pictures and knick knacks flying. Not wanting to be left out of the fun, Rufus lunged after Kitty shoving his nose into her face. Kitty screeched and scratched him, forcing him to retreat. Calm settled over the bedroom for a brief moment. I stood half dressed and looked around the room at the havoc that had been wreaked. The bed looked like someone had enjoyed themselves, unfortunately it wasn't us. Steve lay bleeding from his self inflicted mouth wound, Remy stood perched on the dresser barking at the puppy in the mirror and Rufus lay on the bed licking his scratched nose while Barry sang..."Let's Get it On" from the iPod. Maybe next time, Barry...but first we'll send the boys to Grandma's.

No..I Have NOT Started Yet!

I heard my first Christmas carol of the year while shopping in Walmart on October 30th. Ads have started popping up on TV, the Shopping Channel is flogging toys and electronics as the "perfect holiday gifts" and Santa arrives at the mall in two weeks...it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Would you believe I've actually had a couple of people ask me if I've started my shopping yet? It drives me crazy!! To say I love Christmas is an understatement.... I adore Christmas. I love the baking, the planning, the shopping... I love the time spent with my family. I love going to the Santa Claus parade (the one in the big city because that's the only one the real Santa attends)..love, love, love attending the Christmas service at the church where we got married thirty years ago. I love the snow, love the smells...love everything about Christmas. But please..I beg of you..don't ask me if I've started shopping any time before December 23rd. I am a last minute shopper. Oh I've tried many, many times to start early..it doesn't work. I buy things, then second guess myself, return them and start over again. I need the pressure of being under the gun..I need to know that if I don't get it done...NOW!...it's going to be too late! I need the hustle and bustle of the crowded mall to jump start me into gear and get me going. It's like the call of the wild to a wolf..it's inbred...no wait, not inbred...inborn. I am a procrastinator. I don't know why...my mother is the furthest thing from a procrastinator. I'm pretty sure I drive her nuts! She starts planning in May, shopping in June and is usually finished everything by July 1st. She calls me annually around August 15th and asks what we're having for Christmas dinner...just so she can figure out what to bring. "What??? You don't have the Christmas menu planned yet???" she asks, obviously shocked even though my answer is always the same..."No Mother I haven't figured Christmas dinner out yet..I'll get on it in a couple of months." Nope...the procrastination didn't come through those bloodlines! While the rest of you are sitting by your trees on Christmas Eve, sipping hot chocolate and listening to Christmas carols, secure in the knowledge that your shopping is complete and everything is wrapped and ready..I will be rushing out to the variety store to buy disposable razors and gum for the boys' stockings (the human boys). It's tradition...just like your turkey and the strings of popcorn and cranberries on your tree..I wouldn't dare change it!

To Catch a Thief

The boys after our run

I have raised a thief. Actually if I think back..I've raised two thieves. Years ago when Little Darling #2 was about 2 1/2 years old, he and I were out shopping one day. As we went through the checkout line he spied a package of bubble gum and begged me to buy it for him. Slightly harried I denied his request and turned my attention back to paying for groceries. A little while later we were in the bathroom at McDonald's and as I helped him pull his pants back up I felt something crinkle in his pocket. "What's this?", I asked him...."Nothin'," he answered turning away from me so I couldn't put my hand in his pocket to see what was in there. OK now that's a sign that something was up! I persisted and discovered the package of gum he had coveted in the store.  After explaining why it was wrong to take the gum..I insisted we go back to the store and he tell the lady what he had done My little blonde headed boy's lip quivered as he stood before the dour looking lady and said..."I took 'dis..sowwy." He looked very apologetic indeed and I knew he had learned his lesson. Now the second thief I have raised isn't so apologetic. Rufus steals gloves. He steals gloves from little old ladies in wheelchairs. He steals gardening gloves from the elderly man down the road every time we stop to say hello. Knowing his penchant for gloves..we are always on guard when we wear gloves. Wait did I say "always"?? Yesterday I took the boys for run in the big field near our house. I was walking through the field keeping an eye out  for skunks and not paying attention...WOOOOSH....Rufus ran past me at the speed of light. He slyly grabbed the glove off my hand and took off at warp speed across the field with Remy in hot pursuit. "Rufus.....Rooooofus...RUFUS COME," I yelled. I saw him look over his shoulder at me....SMILE....and keep running! I noticed they were headed for the swamp....."Oh Rufus NO...not the swamp," I yelled. SPLASH...a wall of water sprayed up drenching Remy. Rufus continued to dash through the swamp...this way and that with my red glove hanging out of his mouth. Now for those of you who have Goldens...maybe you know what's coming next...but for the uninitiated, I'll explain. Water equals excitement for my Goldens and excitement equals...ZOOMIES! They run...they run fast. They zoom, zig and zag, leaving uprooted grass, trees and the occasional person in their wake. They completely lose control of themselves and go berserk. So there I stood in the middle of the field with the wet,smelly swamp things racing past me spraying me with swamp water. When it was finally over...Rufus promptly dropped onto a dead animal carcass and rolled around on his back...with my now soaking wet red glove still in his mouth. I approached him and told him to give me the glove...."Rufus...drop the glove....Rufus...get up and give me the glove...Buddy...give me the g....." off he went again. Apparently the zoomies weren't over..he was just taking a break to roll in the irresistible dead thing. He ran around the field for several more minutes while Remy and I stood aside and watched the show. When it was over...Rufus calmly walked up to me, dropped the glove at my feet and sat in front of me so I could clip his leash to his collar. The three of us started to walk home....soaked through to the skin, wreaking of swamp water. As we rounded the corner and headed towards home, Remy jumped up and stole my glove. And so begins the career of another glove thief.

The Dynamic Duo vs. Trick or Treaters

Halloween is over but for two children who came to our door last night, the memory will live on in their minds for years to come. We rarely get trick or treaters at our door because we live in an area where the driveways are fairly far apart. Kids don't want to trek up and down the road for 30 minutes and cover 20 houses when they can go into town and hit 100 houses in the same amount of time. This year however, two little boys and their mom decided to cover our road. At about 6:15 the door bell rang. Now the doorbell ringing may not be cause for celebration in your house...but in our house party hats are donned and noise makers are brought out...the doorbell means people are here to play with Rufus and Remy. I opened the door to see two boys around 5 and 7 years of age standing on the other side. Mom lurked on the other side of the gate we have at the top of the porch steps. The eldest of the two boys had a mask on his face and his little brother wore a long cape and make up. Big Brother opened his mouth..."Trick or Tr......" he didn't get to finish his sentence. Remy jumped on the screen door, knocking the screen out onto the porch floor. Rufus saw the massive opening as his opportunity to escape and investigate our visitors up close and personal. He darted through the hole left by the screen and ran over to Big Brother who backed up against the brick wall...screaming. "It's OK..he won't hurt you," I said as I reached for Rufus' collar. Rufus jerked away from me intent on grabbing the mask off the kid. Meanwhile, behind me I heard another scream. I glanced over my shoulder to see Little Brother being tackled by Remy who had discovered the long cape. As Little Brother tried desperately to stay on his feet, Remy grabbed the bottom of the cape and ran to the other end of the porch, dragging Little Bro screaming behind him. By this time, Mom had catapulted over the gate to rescue her youngins. As she pulled the cape out of Remy's mouth, I heard a ripping sound...the kid started crying. Turning my attention back to Rufus and Big Brother, I saw Rufus heading back through the door opening with the mask in his mouth. Now, Big Brother is standing in stunned silence...Little Brother is quietly crying and Mom is glaring at me. I smile lamely at them all and wish them a Happy Halloween. I somehow doubt they'll be back next year.